


a prayer for my daughter

by harrietspecter



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Found Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrietspecter/pseuds/harrietspecter
Summary: She looks at her daughter and her best friend. Her heart is bursting at the seams with how easy the two have always gotten along. Thick as thieves despite how anti-social Grissom seems to the outside world. He's been so patient and warm. Helping her with anything and everything. Making sure Lindsey grew up knowing how to have fun, ask questions, and be gentle and unafraid of the creepy-crawlies of nature.or, the five times gil grissom was called lindsey willows's dad. (5+1.)
Relationships: Catherine Willows & Lindsey Willows, Gil Grissom & Lindsey Willows, Gil Grissom/Catherine Willows
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	a prayer for my daughter

**Author's Note:**

> one time i set out to make a 6k grillows family 5+1 fic. whoops. i can't believe i've loved these idiots for twenty years and never wrote a fic about them.

1\. _under this cradle-hood and coverlid_

The first time Gil Grissom meets Lindsey Willows is the day of her birth. She’s hours old, with a domed head that’s sure to soften into a little, round head. Her fair skin blotched with pink is soft to the touch. Her head made the alien-like features of newborns even more prominent. But she was still delicate and beautiful. She had opened her eyes once since he was allowed in Catherine’s room. Her dark orbs are open as she rests against Catherine’s hospital gown-covered chest. Lindsey’s little mouth yawns and a noise escapes her that sounded more like a squeak toy than a human sigh.

“You want a turn?” Catherine asks as she shifts her hold on the baby. It’s all so new and she can't figure out what’s comfortable. Her arms are tired. She has to pee. She’s exhausted but wired. She’s feeling too much and not enough at the same time. Hormones, her obstetrician says as he stitched her up. She's reunited with her baby before she is switched into a new room at the labour and delivery wing of the hospital.

He’s nodding before he can stop himself. Of course, he’s read the parenting books even though he’s not a parent. He wanted to be prepared. His best friend was having a baby and her support system was limited. So, he was happy and eager to learn with her. He peppered her with questions for the last nine months. Writing down her answers in his notebook like crossword puzzle answers. Yet, swaddling a real baby is different than the books and classes lead it to be. Although she’s on the small size for a full-term newborn, Lindsey Willows is all limbs. And jerky ones as she’s moved from Catherine’s arms to the hospital blanket. Logically, he knows he won’t hurt her as he wraps her up in the blanket but she fusses and grizzles at being confined. Grissom talks at her. Scientifically, this swaddle resembles the womb, he tells the baby. Catherine is slow to leave her bed as he talks her newborn through the benefits of the swaddle.

By the time Catherine returns from the washroom with her face washed and her hair in a messy ponytail, Gil Grissom sits with Lindsey in the chair beside her bed. He has his arms folded against his chest, a finger touching the closed fist that hangs out from the blanket he had attempted to wrap her in.

“She’s an escape artist,” Grissom notes without looking up as Catherine settles back into her bed.

Lindsey is quiet in his arms, staring and blinking slowly. Her little mouth opens and a quiet yawn unsettles her. He holds her closer and she makes a little noise. She continues to stare and it seems like she’s staring right through him until she falls asleep against him. He lifts his head to find Catherine watching the scene before her. Exhaustion was written all over her face.

“I’ll take the first shift, Cath,” he whispers.

She takes him up on his offer by settling a little further into the pillows and closing her eyes, too.

He gets called ‘dad’ by a few of the nurses that move in and out of the room. One of the nurses slips a band onto his wrist and tells him that no one had gotten around to printing it until now. It has Catherine’s name, Lindsey’s name, and Catherine’s doctor. He’s supposed to tell them that he's _the friend, not the dad_ but he can’t seem to take his eyes off the squished, tiny features.

When he has to leave for his shift at the lab a few hours later, he reluctantly hands over the baby who has been awake for a few minutes. He knows her tiny stomach has woken her up and it's a matter of seconds before she starts to cry. But her little gas bubble gurgle of a grin makes him pause. He stands, and he makes the awkward exchange with Catherine. She claims they’ll get into a rhythm and he gives her a little smile.

“You’re amazing, Catherine,” he reminds her with a gentle squeeze of her arm before he steps away.

She leans into her uncomfortable hospital bed and gives him a wink as he looks back.

He gives her one of his shy smiles and swallows his farewell.

\--

A little over two months later, Catherine and Lindsey are on his doorstep on a Wednesday morning. He can hear them before Catherine knocks. The baby’s cries echoing through the door and into his living room. When he opens the door, Catherine has a bruised cut on her cheek, tired eyes, and there's stuff at her feet. Lindsey is in her car seat that's slipping from Catherine's strong-arm hold as she maneuvers herself to knock on his door.

He gathers what he can and dumps it all inside the door while ushering them in. He locks the door as Catherine sets the carseat down, scoops up the crying baby, and shushes her while about to tear up herself. When he manages to scoot everything to the wall, he walks over to Catherine and motions for the baby. He’s a little awkward and unsure, but he supports her head as he puts her upright over his heart. He frees his other arm and wraps it around Catherine, pulling her into his side.

“You’re okay,” he says to both of the girls in his arms. “I’ve got you.”

Catherine’s forehead hits his chest, careful of Lindsey, and both arms wrap around his middle, holding herself to his frame. She sighs, her breath warming the soft cotton of his t-shirt.

In the span of a few minutes, though it feels like hours for Catherine, Lindsey settles to hiccuped mewling and Grissom steers them all to the couch.

He settles Catherine in the corner and drapes the blanket he’d been sitting on over her lap. He didn’t have throw pillows, so he takes Lindsey with him to his room to grab a pillow from his bed for Catherine to use under her arm. He returns as she’s unbuttoning her shirt and he lays the pillow on her lap, unsure where she’d want to have it. He’s careful not to look and she laughs at him for being so modest. Of course, he had seen her breasts before when he and Jimmy used to visit the French Palace to get Catherine’s take on cases before she had her degree to qualify as a lab tech. There was also that one time with the decontamination shower out in the field back when she had been a CSI-1. She’s also been here at his townhouse a few times with an inpatient Lindsey. Modesty has been out the window for years. Catherine thinks it's cute Grissom still practices it whenever he can.

He passes Lindsey to her and Catherine runs her fingers through Lindsey’s wispy strawberry blonde hair as the baby hums and milk fills her cheeks. Her little fingers curl against Catherine’s skin as dark blue eyes look up into her mother’s own.

“She’s been okay with the bottles at night with the weaning. I don’t know if I’m ready to leave her with Nancy or my mother,” Catherine says as she breaks the silence when Grissom sits down and turns the volume down on the television. “I can’t leave her with him and his coke whore girlfriend, groupies, whatever they are.”

Catherine goes back to work next week. She’d like to take longer but she’s burning through her sick leave and vacation pay and can’t afford not working. Government employees don’t earn a lot of time off. And holidays are limited to the ten designated federal days. It’s his usual day off, so he’s trying to stick to his routine. It helps that he's an introvert who prefers solitude to people. So, his social life isn’t disrupted because he works the night shift.

Grissom watches her as she sinks further into the couch. The stress from whatever brought her to his doorstep melting but still there in the way she clenches her jaw.

They sit in silence. The television and occasional hum are the only sounds in the living room. He can tell Catherine is working up to explaining why they’re here. So, he leaves her to her thoughts. He’s only half watching the television show as his mind occupies itself with the two next to him. Catherine runs her finger along Lindsey’s cheek. Eventually switching from one breast to the other in a matter of seconds.

When Lindsey’s had her fill, Catherine asks for his help. He takes the milk-drunk baby and sits her upright against his lap. He gently pats Lindsey’s back to burp her before she goes down for a few hours. He only looks up as Catherine tells him she has to pee before her bladder bursts. He chuckles and Lindsey grumbles. He’s not surprised to hear a flush and then his shower turning on. Lindsey expels a burp, dribbling a little milky spit up onto her chin and her onesie. He spies the diaper bag among the things at the entryway and he maneuvers himself and Lindsey over to the door without making the spit up mess worse. He cleans her up and changes her into another onesie that was in the bag. When he doesn't pick her up right away, she gets frustrated, letting out an impatient cry.

He picks her up and holds her to his shoulder, bouncing as he walks in slow, meandering circles around his living room. He can feel her succumbing to the rhythm. Her rigid arms slipping, head and neck curling towards his own as she seeks his warmth. She always makes a little sigh before she goes down for the count and he can stop moving. He knows this will at least give Catherine an hour, maybe ninety minutes, of peace. He yawns and pats Lindsey’s back a few more times before he settles them into the corner of the couch to await Catherine’s return. He falls asleep, exhausted from the long shift and being sedentary for so long with a warm little body fit snugly against his chest.

He wakes up later when the sun is peeking through the blinds of the living room to find himself still on the couch, a blanket covering him, and the stuff that crowded his door all gone. He’d be concerned, but there’s a quiet shuffling beside him on the ground as Catherine lays Lindsey out on the rug to change her diaper.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Catherine says distractedly as she unbuttons the onesie Lindsey wears.

He sits up, still tired, and checks his wristwatch. A little more than two hours of sleep. He looks down at Lindsey and Catherine. The latter’s hair is drying, he can see the little wet spots on a T-shirt she’d taken from his clean laundry basket in his room and a pair of her sweats he assumed came from one of the bags she had dumped somewhere in his house. Most likely the guest room.

She moves Lindsey to the blanket on the floor as she dumps the diaper in his trash and washes her hands. Coming back, instead of scooping the baby up and sitting with her on the couch, Catherine lifts the edge of the blanket and scoots it to where she can sit on the floor while propping herself up with the couch. Her hands move to Lindsey’s little sock covered feet and gently tickles the sole and watched as Lindsey pushes away. Muscle stimulation, Grissom thinks as he observes them.

“He came home high. Or coming down from a high,” Catherine begins, still focusing on Lindsey. “She’s only two months old. So, she spooks easily at loud noises and he told me to shut her up or he would.”

“Babies can sense tension and feel anxiety,” Grissom follows her story, anticipating the outcome.

“She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t need a diaper change. She was unsure. And, she could feel I wasn’t as calm as I should have been. So, I got this in return,” she motions to the cut on her cheekbone.

Grissom counts to ten in his head. A hand scrubs over his face. He looks at her as she finally looks up at him.

“I don’t want to be another statistic, Gil. I don’t want her to be another statistic.”

He makes his way to the floor. His knee pops and he ignores it for the moment as he crowds Catherine, enveloping her in his arms, and pressing his lips against her temple for a brief moment.

“I’ll support you however I can, Cath. Anything you need.”

One of her arms moves up to hold onto his arms that cross above her chest and she leans into him, a nonverbal thanks for the support. She lets out a breath and relaxes the tension in her shoulders. Well, she tries to relax. It’s getting easier the longer she spends with him, even if he was a bit sleepy from his nap on the couch.

Lindsey coos on the floor, arms flailing in time with her legs as she makes little noises. She accidentally hits herself with her arm and it spooks her. Her eyes are wide and mouth open before her face contorts, bottom lip jutting out before she lets out a cry.

Catherine can’t help but laugh. She knows she’s not supposed to laugh. But, as she watched the entire thing and knows it’s not a serious injury, it was a little amusing.

“Come here, little bug,” Grissom says as he gently releases Catherine and moves to grab Lindsey.

On Monday, she’ll leave Grissom and Lindsey at the townhouse to head to the courthouse and file her paperwork to start divorce proceedings. They’ll have breakfast and then Grissom will let Catherine know that on Friday, he requested an extended vacation to look after Lindsey so Catherine wouldn't have to leave Lindsey with someone unfamiliar and that Brass has approved it. He’ll leave out the part where before Brass signed it, he told him to enjoy “dad duty.”

* * *

2\. _may she be granted beauty_

The thing about working the night shift is the mornings are free. Usually, they sleep while the rest of Las Vegas works. Today is Lindsey Willows’ first day of kindergarten. Eddie’s been the delinquent father since before she was born and he's been out of the picture since Lindsey was only a few months old. Catherine had asked for full physical and legal custody in the divorce and was granted it amongst other things a few years ago. Since then, she’d made CSI-3, passed her firearms qualification, and moved out of the guest room of Gil Grissom’s townhouse into a fixer-upper with three bedrooms and a yard big enough for a pool one day.

Once her divorce had been finalized for a few months, she had celebrated that fact by going around to various neighbourhoods and picking up the flyers for houses from the for sale boxes out in the front yards. She had come back to Grissom’s place with a handful and spread them out on the counter where he had been arranging mandarin oranges and cheddar Goldfish crackers into a little dish for Lindsey to snack on as they watched the Discovery channel before her nap time. She was on an “orange snacks” kick and she had Grissom wrapped around her finger, catering to her every whim.

Two weeks later, she had a round of viewing appointments and she had dragged Lindsey and Gil with her. It’s Catherine’s decision, so Grissom entertains Lindsey while the realtor shows Catherine the details of the house. They were in the third house when she had made her choice. Catherine could hear little feet on hardwood and the squeals and giggles before she heard Gil tell Lindsey they should go check out the backyard. The grass is patchy and dying yucca plants are littering the fence line. The kitchen looks like it has good bones. It’s a work in progress for sure, but it’s in her budget and the two explorers outside have already set their sights on a beetle.

Grissom has it in his hands and Lindsey is holding out her palms before she wiggles and steps back with a laugh, her plaited strawberry blonde hair whipping gently against her back. The real estate agent is inside as Catherine stands at the small concrete patio when Lindsey finally cups the little bug in her hand. Her laugh is infectious and she can even hear Grissom’s laugh as he tells her to be gentle even though it has a hard skeletal body.

But it was the night she moved in that had been her favourite. She had spread out a blanket in the living room where they ate dinner. She’d have to wait for a few paychecks to get some furniture that wasn’t mattresses. Lindsey had brought over a National Geographic magazine she’d taken from Gil’s mail stack and plopped herself in Grissom’s lap as he set his empty paper plate beside him. They read about the grey shark migration pattern as Lindsey leaned back against Grissom. Her little fingers reaching for one of the bites of pizza Catherine had cut for her as he read. Lindsey falls asleep against him. Pizza sauce on her mouth, cheese strings on her chin and in her hair, and a little hand on the delicate magazine page of the diagram of the grey shark's eyes. She had fallen asleep mid-question when asking if grey sharks could see the colour purple.

“Thank you,” Catherine whispers as she looks at her daughter and her best friend. Her heart is bursting at the seams with how easy the two have always gotten along. Thick as thieves despite how anti-social Grissom seems to the outside world. He's been so patient and warm. Helping her with anything and everything. Making sure Lindsey grew up knowing how to have fun, ask questions, and be gentle and unafraid of the creepy-crawlies of nature.

“Mmh? For what?” He asks as he looks over. His head tilts, he’s in his curious investigator mode.

Catherine shrugs and gestures to him and the house.

“A lot of things,” she tells him.

He hums and reaches out, fingers brushing her hand on the floor and he gestures for her to move closer since he’s stuck under the weight of a sleeping two-year-old.

She complies, siding up to him as she moves empty plates away, and goes further as she leans in and kisses him. It’s soft, short, and catches more of his bottom lip than she anticipated. He pauses for a moment, frozen, but then his hand squeezes her own before he kisses her back.

He pulls away and she smiles, and he gives her a small, quirky grin in return.

“That was nice,” he finally gets out.

“Just nice?” She teases.

“Really good. Great.” he tries and can see she’s teasing. “Amazing, Cath.”

Her nose scrunches as her face does in this adorable, dorky little smile before she buries her head against his shoulder. And he laughs as Lindsey lets out a snore from her open mouth as she continues to sleep in his lap.

\--

Like deja vu from a few years ago, Grissom and Lindsey are on the floor of the living room. But instead of a National Geographic magazine, she’s in his lap as he shows her how to tie her shoe. She wants to tell them it's time to go, but they look so cute with their tongues poking out of their lips as they concentrate on the laces and the loops. Lindsey almost has it, but she pulled too hard and created a knot. Catherine saw a miniature version of her own exasperated face she usually wears when she hears Ecklie telling them how great the day shift is at everything.

Shoes tied, lunch packed, and backpack in the car, Grissom drives to the elementary school. It’s a little over halfway between the crime lab and the house which gives Catherine some peace of mind as Lindsey starts her foray into public school. Lindsey is quietly kicking her feet against the backseat as she sits in her booster, the only tell that she’s a little nervous. She knows her numbers to 100, her ABC’s, and has blocky little lettering down to where Greg can tell what she’s written… even if she does a few of them backwards when practicing her words. She’s learning sign language, along with Catherine, and her little hands try their best to copy Grissom as he gives her new words to practice.

Education-wise, she’s prepared. Socially, they take her to the park when they can. Lindsey loved storytime at the library. She’d gone when she was a baby for baby lapsit and continued all the way to toddler and preschool storytimes. Grissom has Thursdays off and that was their time to visit the library. They have a weekly ritual of visiting the library and getting books to borrow. One time, Catherine had gone with them to see what takes so long and turns out it wasn’t Grissom picking out books as she thought. Rather, it was her daughter making a craft with Grissom, chatting up the librarian after she finished storytime for a recommendation, and browsing the shelves with Grissom to determine which books Catherine would read her before bed, which ones Grissom would read before bed, and which ones she could practice words and sentences with. Catherine’s sister takes Lindsey and Jeremy to daycare or the park sometimes, too.

She won’t be a ghost, like Grissom, but she doubts Lindsey will ever be an extrovert. Catherine turns on the extroversion for work. She likes being a homebody. Her favourite days are after work when they have no plans and she can go demolish the backyard or watch Gil and Lindsey watch the Discovery channel or read from one of the insect books that are neatly stacked in the corner until a bookshelf is built. But Catherine is sure that Lindsey will make friends, even if it might take her a while to open up to people.

He parks on the street because the parking lot is full, and Catherine gets Lindsey out, putting the small backpack of extra clothes, school supplies, and her lunch around Lindsey’s arms. They walk sedately because Lindsey’s stride is only so long, being four years old, and she wanted to hold both their hands. Catherine questions if she’s cold in her little pink cardigan, black dress, and black high top Converse. She gets a resounding “no, mom” and the adults share a look before Grissom looks in the opposite direction of Lindsey as he chuckles to himself.

They eventually reach the school campus where the kindergarten classes are in a pod-like environment, sharing a little playground that is gated from the older elementary school students.

“Why don’t you say goodbye and we can find your seat,” the teacher says to Lindsey as she stands between the two adults, surveying her classroom after they stepped inside the gates.

Lindsey tugs on Gil Grissom’s hand first and he squats as her little hands shake off his and her mother’s grip.

“First day, bug,” Grissom tells her with a soft little smile playing on his lips.

“See you later, alligator,” Lindsey says quietly as she wraps her little arms around his neck and he pulls her in as he crouches on the classroom’s carpet.

“In a while, crocodile,” he sings back just as low.

Lindsey steps back and she does the same to her mother. Grissom watches the scene as he stands up. Catherine kisses her cheek and Lindsey laughs before pretending to wipe it off on her dress.

Catherine shakes her head as she stands from her crouched position.

“Have a good first day, okay, Linds,” Catherine almost slips up and calls her _baby_ , but she’d never hear the end of it. And, she’d get the little stink eye. So, she’s glad it didn’t come out.

When the teacher takes Lindsey’s hand to show her to her seat in the classroom, Lindsey looks back at them and waves.

“She’s going to be okay,” Catherine says more to herself than him, but still says it aloud as she nods her head and holds in the tears.

Gil Grissom slips Catherine’s hand into his, their palms meeting as he feels her entwine their fingers rather than just squeeze his hand.

“Come on, I’ll make breakfast and we can review Lindsey’s plans for the backyard she drew last night,” he tells her as they watch Lindsey sit in her chair next to a little blond-haired boy in the back of the room.

“We are not building a backyard ant farm,” Catherine reminds him as they take one last look at Lindsey before making their way out the door.

In kindergarten, Lindsey will gain the respect of the boys when she brings in ant farms and shadowboxed bugs for show and tell. When it's dad’s day at school, she’ll bring in Gil Grissom and he’ll be a little awkward at socializing with the other dads but the boys will declare him _the coolest dad_ as they recount the bugs Lindsey brought in for show and tell.

Grissom will stop by the lab with Lindsey so she can hang her new artwork in his office and leave notes for Nick, Warrick, Brass, and Greg. Then they’ll head back home where Catherine sleeps the day away with all the quiet.

“Did you have fun, baby?” Catherine will ask as Lindsey stands on a kitchen chair to assist Grissom as he makes dinner before he and Catherine have to leave for their shift and before Lily Flynn gets to the house to watch Lindsey.

She nods, strawberry blonde hair slipping from her loose ponytail.

“Everybody said he’s the _coolest_ ,” Lindsey says so matter of factly as her little tongue pokes out in concentration as she carefully rolls the little Pillsbury Crescent roll into its shape.

Catherine watches Gil Grissom for a reaction and her heart settles as the familiar quirky smile graces the corner of his lips and schools itself as he lifts his head to wink at her.

“Yeah, he is the best,” Catherine says to Lindsey as she continues watching Grissom and Lindsey go about their routine.

\--

When Sara and Nick return from their 419, Sara spots an out of place visitor in the break room. The visitor in question is a kid, strawberry blonde, with mismatched clothing -- she’s wearing what looks like a boys grey t-shirt with bugs on it, a red tulle skirt, with red high top Converse. Her hair is in low pigtails and a sparkly red headband sits on her head. She was alone and Sara watched as she pulled open the breakroom fridge and stood up on her tippy toes to grab a water bottle. She shut the fridge and skipped out of the breakroom, heading to the hallway of offices.

“Uh, Nick,” Sara said slowly as she raised her hand and pointed down the hallway. “Whose kid?”

Nick looked where Sara was pointing and he grinned when he saw the familiar strawberry blonde.

“That’s Lindsey,” Nick tells her. “We can drop off the evidence and I’m sure you’ll see who she belongs to. Let Grissom know we’re back, okay?”

True to his prediction, Sara went to Grissom’s office to tell him that she and Nick were back when she encountered the unfamiliar child again. Grissom was sitting in one of his visitor chairs as the guest sat in his chair. Grissom was listening intently at the story as the kid attempted to release the cap on her water.

Grissom gestured for the bottle and Lindsey signed her thanks with one hand after he returned the bottle. After taking a few gulps, for dramatic effect, she plopped the bottle onto his desk and sighed.

Sara rapped her knuckles on the doorframe, two pairs of blue eyes looking at her moments later.

“Hey, uh, Grissom,” Sara nods an awkward hello. “Nick said I should tell you that we’re back?”

“Good,” Grissom smiles a little and turns back to the one in his chair. “All right, Linds. Now we can go to the layout room.”

Sara sees the little girl grin and she hops down from Grissom’s chair, moving to the other side and holds on to Grissom’s hand as he stands and grabs the water bottle from his desk. He gestures for her to lead and as they pass by Sara, he nods his head for Sara to follow him and the little strawberry blonde.

Lindsey opens the layout room door to a chorus of _happy birthday_ from Catherine, Warrick, Nick, Brass, Greg, Jacqui, Doc Robbins, and David, as well as a few random lab techs. Sara can’t see the girl’s reaction, but moments later, hands reach up to Grissom and he bends slightly to scoop her up and bring her closer to the evidence table where a cake shaped like a caterpillar sits. A little arm wraps around Grissom’s neck as Catherine lights five candles on the cake. A chorus of the happy birthday song is sung, and then Lindsey blows out the candles and leans her head against Grissom’s own as she finishes and Catherine cuts the cake.

Sara watches as Lindsey wraps her other arm around Grissom and squeezes his neck, planting a noisy kiss to Grissom’s cheek and they both laugh. He sets her down on the layout room’s evidence table and Catherine passes Grissom two pieces of cake. Grissom pretends to weigh each of the cake slices, telling Lindsey he’s going to take the bigger one. She giggles before reaching for the bigger piece, licking the cake as she looks at him, daring him to take it now.

“Nice one, Linds,” Greg shouts from the opposite side of the table as he fist pumps. “Did she learn that from you Griss?”

Catherine shakes her head, hiding her laugh as a faux cough.

Nick brings Sara a piece of cake as she loiters around the fringes of the party. It seems like everyone knows the little girl who sits on the edge of the evidence table, swinging her legs as she eats a piece of cake with Catherine and Grissom on either side of her. People entertain the birthday girl, but she doesn’t stray far from her spot on the evidence table between Grissom and Catherine. Her little fingers dance at the shirt hem of either adult, a little tug when she’s had her fill with the person entertaining her.

“She’s had her birthday here every year,” Nick tells Sara as she takes the cake. “It’s the one day a year she can have cake before breakfast.”

“I didn’t know they had a kid,” Sara nods subtly with her chin as she eats the cake, trying to avoid the green frosting.

“You only see her around on her birthday and the CSI softball game where she sits in the dugout with us,” Nick says as he turns a little to watch Lindsey. “You’ll see 'em every week at the library, though. Grissom got a library card when she was a baby. I think next to Griss and Catherine, Lindsey’s favourite person is the children’s librarian at the Desert Palm branch. The librarian always has a book picked out just for Linds.”

Sara nods because that sounds like Grissom. They had met a few years ago in San Francisco at a conference he had spoken at. She had thought she had researched him well. She asked to have coffee after the lecture he gave. She had memorized all his monographs and the little factual tidbits some university journals sometimes published along with his articles. She would have never guessed he’d have a family. His hyperfocus on entomology and forensics sounded like enough of a career and a lifetime investment. But, then again, she’s only known Gil Grissom for six months. And, in that time, everything she’d assumed or researched about him was secondary to what she was witnessing now.

Nick watches as Sara watches Grissom, Catherine, and Lindsey. Lindsey’s lips are green and she laughs while purposefully painting green frosting on her lips with the fork as Greg does the same.

“Nice, Greg,” Catherine laughs while shaking her head.

While she’s not looking, Lindsey tries to take her mother’s water cup and without looking, Catherine puts it just out of reach and Grissom hands Lindsey the water bottle she had taken from the breakroom fridge. They do it all without words and barely a glance at the five-year-old since they’re in conversations with Jacqui and Brass, respectively.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you,” Nick gently bumps his shoulder into Sara’s.

The two approach the rest of the party and Lindsey watches their approach, scooting close to Catherine hiding behind her mother but giving Nick a conspiratorial grin.

“Hey, princess,” he greets Lindsey as she pops up with a giggle.

Lindsey looks over at Sara and the older woman smiles awkwardly, a little forced again. She’s not the greatest with kids.

“This is my friend, Sara. Sara, this is Lindsey,” Nick says as he looks between them.

Lindsey gives Sara and once over before she hides her face in her mother’s shoulder, little arms wrapping around Catherine’s neck, and Catherine automatically wraps her arms around the five-year-old, tilting her head as Lindsey whispers in her ear.

Catherine turns with Lindsey with her arms and Lindsey sinks a little as she’s brought down from the layout table to her mother’s hold.

“She’s a little shy,” Catherine shrugs and she leans over enough to nudge her shoulder into Grissom’s arm. “Kinda like this one.”

“It’s okay. She doesn’t have to say hi,” Sara nods. She understands shy kids. She was one herself. She hated being forced to say hi to people when she didn’t know them and hadn’t observed whether or not they were friends or foe.

Grissom does a little turn and he welcomes Sara and Nick to gather around the table.

Eventually, the trio has to leave to make sure to scrub the green frosting from Lindsey’s lips and get her some real breakfast before she has to go to school and get a sugar rush all over.

Sara’s the only one who watches them leave. Lindsey is in the middle as she reaches up and takes both their hands, counting one, two, three before they both lift her off the ground for a short amount of time until they reach the end of the hallway and escape the view of the layout room.

* * *

3\. _hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned_

When Lindsey reaches the age of 13, her mother is uncool. Gil Grissom, however, is hit or miss in the cool department depending on Lindsey’s mood. Catherine has been there and done that when she was a kid, but it still stings more than it should. Grissom wisely stays out of their way when Lindsey and Catherine argue over the former’s outfits, homework, or how she needs a frivolous product that all her friends have. She still has her sweet side, but it doesn’t come out as easily as it once did.

Some days, they wake up fighting. Well, Lindsey wakes up as they’re coming off a ten-hour shift or a double. And, instead of taking the bait, Catherine will walk away and close the bedroom door. Sometimes she’ll come out after Grissom comes back from dropping Lindsey off. Sometimes he’ll go to her and she’ll seek solace and comfort in his arms.

He was the awkward kid with the deaf mother and the dead dad. She was the awkward kid with the stripper mother and the non-existent dad. Lindsey has the most stable family units and somehow, Catherine finds teenage angst to be all her fault. She often wonders if she’s shared too much with her daughter when her past is flung back in her face as an insult.

“Coke head,” Catherine will say, voice muffled by her pillow.

“You’ve been clean for seventeen years,” he’ll remind her.

“Stripper,” she’ll recall another time.

“Exotic dancer,” he quips.

She’ll stop being mad and sad just long enough to lob her pillow at him and tackle him onto his side of the bed with a laugh and an elbow to his side.

“High school dropout,” she reminds him.

“College graduate,” he parries.

Despite how it starts, it always ends with him and his touch. He’ll cup her cheek. Run his thumb against her angled cheekbone. He’ll watch as she regains her confidence when her blue eyes finally meet his own. Sometimes it takes a few minutes. Other times, he’ll blink away the sleepiness in his own eyes as she finally meets his with hers.

“I don’t deserve you,” she often says. “We don’t deserve you.”

“And you are dearer to me than language has the power of telling,” he quotes, thumb brushing against the lip she bites. He’ll move his fingers, a knuckle brushing the bridge of her nose and eyelids flutter closed involuntarily before blinking open again and finding his head on the same pillow as hers.

She always lifts a hand and signs _I love you_ before the same hand runs through his greying curls and pulls him in closer.

\--

“I never even asked if you wanted a kid,” Catherine says one night when she’s in his office and they’re going over a case they’ve been working on the past few weeks.

“I have Lindsey,” he responds automatically without looking up at her.

Her heart sort of stops and triples its effort in beating at the same time. It brings back feelings from a decade ago when she’d given in to their mutual back and forth and finally kissed him on the living room floor of the house they share.

“I know,” she tells him, voice barely above a whisper. Lindsey is his. Kind of. Technically, they’ve never actually filled out adoption papers. And, she’s pretty sure Eddie never actually showed up to give his information to the hospital for the birth certificate. Maybe she should check on that one day. “But, I mean, a kid of your own flesh and blood.”

He’s never given that much thought, honestly. Between the family genetics and the classic bow-legged walk, any flesh and blood kid of his wouldn’t be winning any genetic lottery.

“Where’s this coming from?” He asks as his eyes slowly lift from his diagram of the circulatory system to her face.

She shrugs.

“We found a basal thermometer at this crime scene,” she reminds him.

“You don’t have to be flesh and blood to be a family, Catherine,” he tells her.

They have a wordless sort of conversation after that. Each getting one another onto their same page.

“Lindsey’s just so much,” Catherine says honestly, eyes watering just enough to where he can see they threaten to fall. “Sometimes I wonder if breaking the cycle of being an only child would have been a good thing.”

He raises a brow.

“Parents do it all the time. Built-in playmate.”

“She’s a teenager, Catherine,” he reminds her as if she isn’t reminded of it whenever Lindsey recalls it’s not that many more years until Catherine left home when she was a teenager. “She misses you.”

“How do you even know?” Catherine asks as the tears fall without her permission. She sniffles and tries to blink them away. “Sometimes I think she hates me, Gil.”

He shrugs. He’s not the people person in their family. He’s not even the people person in the forensics lab. But he’s spent decades observing people and they all have basic instincts. Lindsey is no different.

“She loves you, Catherine.”

“She loves you more. Probably loves the librarian at Desert Palms branch more than me.”

“Only because the librarian puts her on top of the list for all the new books,” Grissom teases.

Catherine stands up from the visitor chair to round his desk and punches his arm. But before she can draw her arm back to her side, he captures her hand and opens her fist so their palms meet and hands entwine.

“We’ll figure it out, Cath. We always do.”

“I know,” she says as she blows out a frustrated breath, leaning against his desk.

Before he can get anything else out, they’re interrupted by Sara who was walking past the trace lab and flagged down by Hodges to get them. He has _the break in the case_ , Sara parrots and all three share a mutual eye roll and a laugh at the dramatics the lab tech often displays.

When they get home that morning, Catherine hugs Lindsey. For a moment, there’s no protest. The younger Willows woman sinks into her mother’s embrace with the smallest hint of a smile before she asks what Catherine is doing and asks Grissom, _why is mom being so weird_.

Grissom tries his hardest to give as much time off to Catherine as he can. The team understands the need for two days off in a row and they’re pulling more hours so she doesn’t have to do as many doubles and triples. It helps some, but Lindsey’s still stuck and they go back to the drawing board.

\--

She doesn’t know what’s up with her mom, but things have changed. And, Lindsey doesn’t think it's for the better. One night, she’d overheard her mother telling Grissom that _Conrad Ecklie could go to hell for all she cared_ and then her mother told her that she was assigned a different shift. _Swing shift_ , she called it. Lindsey didn’t understand what that meant, but now it seemed like her mom was never home. 4 pm to 1 am was Catherine Willows’ new shift. It overlapped a little with her old 9 pm to 6 am night shift schedule. But unlike her old shift, she wasn’t at home for dinner and she was rarely up at breakfast. But at least one routine stayed the same where Grissom drove and Catherine sat in the passenger seat while they dropped Lindsey off.

After school, she is dropped off by Nancy, since Lindsey and Jeremy went to the same school. Lindsey would help Grissom make dinner, clean up without an argument, and ask him for help on her homework until he left for work. While he got ready, she’d make two sets of leftovers and pack them in two lunch boxes, one for her mom’s dinner and one for Grissom’s late-night lunch hour. He’d leave as soon as Lily got there, which was often at 8:30 pm. That was their new routine and Lindsey saw the exhaustion on Catherine and Grissom. The fight and anger often bled out of her when she’d catch the occasional glimpse of her mother and Grissom in the morning. Grissom would arrive home from his shift and find Catherine in the kitchen. They’d just stand there with an arm wrapped around one another in the kitchen as Catherine drank her tea and Grissom made sure Lindsey had packed herself a lunch the night before.

“Do you see much of mom?” Lindsey asks Grissom one night as she sighs at her math homework. Geometry is dumb and she’s tired of the same equations over and over.

Grissom has one of his case reports and he’s making notes in that neat, blocky, uppercase script of his.

“When she can, she takes her lunch at 9 or 10. I can usually do paperwork in my office or hers." The _unless a case comes in and ruins the plans_ goes unsaid. “Nick and Warrick try their best to keep her in the office. Sara and Greg do the same on my team, but we’re down people and on a hiring freeze.”

Lindsey writes a little harder than she should as her pencil meets paper in the notebook as she scratches out the equation and boxes the answer for her teacher to catch as she grades homework.

“She applied for days, you know,” Grissom says as he sets his pen down and folds his hands over his case file on the table.

Lindsey stops writing her equation and looks up.

“She wanted to be able to spend more time with you and be on a normal schedule. She asked for the 9 am to 6 pm day shift supervisor spot. Instead, she got the swing supervisor because I can’t play politics well enough to keep my team together.”

Lindsey’s quiet for a while, contemplating Grissom’s words.

“Days would mean even less time with you,” she points out. It’s the same thing Catherine had argued half-heartedly.

“You’re the best thing she’s got, Linds. We make it work,” Grissom shrugs as if he’s chatting about the weather they’re having this spring.

Lindsey looks like she doesn’t believe him. But when Catherine unpacks her lunch that night, she has a scribbled _I’m sorry. thank you_ on her napkin.

She waits until they’re in her office to slip into his personal space and wraps her arms around him in a silent thank you for putting up with the craziness that was their household as of late.

\--

“Nope,” Catherine says as she looks at the roller coaster in front of her. “No way. I’ll hold the popcorn and you two can get your thrills.”

“You’re no fun,” Lindsey sighs as only a teenager could as she hands her mother her cup of orange Crush.

Grissom hands the popcorn and the iced tea over to Catherine and kisses the corner of her mouth.

“You sure you don’t want to come?” He asks again.

“Gil, a year ago, we solved a case where this roller coaster literally flew off its tracks. You’re lucky I’m letting you two ride it.”

“Harold assures me it's all in order.”

Catherine rolls her eyes. She's not surprised he made friends with the roller coaster maintenance man during the case.

“Go, before I change my mind.”

His face scrunches as he smiles and he presses another kiss to the corner of her mouth before he goes to stand in line with Lindsey.

“You and mom are good?” Lindsey tries for a nonchalant tone, but he can see she’s eager to get a positive answer.

Lily Flynn had stayed over for three days and Lindsey hadn’t seen Catherine or Grissom in that time. She had tried to call to ask what was up and got a ‘ _Nicky’s missing, baby. I can’t talk_ ’ from her mother when she finally picked up after seven tries.

“We’ll be fine, Linds,” Grissom says as he nods once. “Ecklie’s learned not to mess with your mother.”

“Good,” she declares and quickly hugs him before letting go. “Because you guys looked like hell not being able to see one another.”

Grissom can’t help the smirk and the chuckle that escapes his lips at the statement Lindsey made.

“Language, Linds,” he tries for stern but he laughs. The discipline thing belongs to Catherine. He can’t stand up to her antics.

“Are you okay with your mom on nights again?” He asks.

“I think so,” Lindsey tells him as she shuffles her feet. “We’re going to find ‘common ground’ that works for both of us.”

Grissom knows the common ground is hair and nails. But it’s a hell of a lot more than what Catherine ever got from her mother as a stable mother-daughter relationship.

Before long, it’s finally their turn and he’s excited to find Lindsey’s not a scared chicken like her mother about heights and roller coasters. They take the front because Lindsey needs to experience the front of this one at least once.

“Dad, make sure you buckle your kid before you,” the attendant says as he steps up to each of the coaster cars to make sure everyone is buckled before he lets the ride start, looking at Grissom as he motions to Lindsey. “Opposite of airplane oxygen mask rules.”

* * *

4\. _May she become a flourishing hidden tree that all her thoughts may like the linnet be_

Lindsey raises her brow in question when she sees her mother come out of her bedroom with the keys to the Denali and asking if she has all her stuff.

“Yeah,” Lindsey says slowly as she holds her backpack. “Where’s Grissom?”

Since Grissom has driven Lindsey to school for the past 16 years, it's a little out of the ordinary to find him missing their unspoken morning routine. Granted, Catherine usually tags along, but this time it's just her and her mother. Catherine driving her has only ever happened a few times in her life.

“Asleep,” Catherine opens the front door and ushers Lindsey out.

Maybe they should have bought her a car, but parking at the high school is ridiculously expensive and Lindsey takes the activity bus home almost half the year anyway since she does cross country in the fall and track and field in the spring. Her friends will give her a ride home if she needs it more often than not. They think it’s pretty cool to see two police-issued vehicles in the driveway.

Catherine and Grissom don’t have their own vehicles because they get personal use charges taken out of their paycheck for bringing the CSI vehicles home at the supervisor and assistant supervisor level. The only downside is since it’s a government vehicle, Lindsey can’t use it. So, Lindsey will often practice driving in her grandmother’s car.

Sam offered to buy his granddaughter a car, but Catherine declined the offer and told him if he wanted to help, put it in a college savings plan and reap the tax break. This was Vegas. And, almost like New York City, you didn’t need a car since there were so many ways to get around. When Sam went to Lindsey, Lindsey said she didn’t mind, citing a friend had a car and she could always borrow grandma’s car.

“He’s okay, right?” Lindsey asks as they hop in Catherine’s Denali.

“Of course,” Catherine says automatically. “He’s just tired from working a lot of hours lately. He needs to sleep and he hasn’t been getting much lately. He was reaching for his migraine prescription this morning, so I told him I’d take you.”

“Should we cancel our trip?” Lindsey wonders, unsure.

Since Lindsey’s in eleventh grade, college tours are a big part of getting kids interested. She’s got a few in mind. They’re headed to UCLA and USC in a few days. Lindsey also has Williams College, New York University, Emory University, and UNLV on the list.

“He should be okay by Friday,” Catherine says as she looks over to Lindsey who is staring back at her. She turns back to the road as she begins to brake for the stoplight.

“He’s off tonight?” Lindsey wonders.

Catherine nods.

“Maybe he should take the rest of the week off,” Lindsey suggests innocently.

Catherine laughs aloud.

“Sorry, baby,” Catherine says quickly. “But trying to pry Gil away from the crime lab is a feat.”

“I’ll convince him tonight,” Lindsey says confidently. “Bet you twenty bucks.”

Catherine agrees to the bet and they eventually make it to the high school. She watches as Lindsey steps out and adjusts her backpack, heading inside the gates and heading for the gym for her zero-hour period.

\--

Gil Grissom is tired. He’s been doing this for decades and mostly took vacations when Catherine asks if they want to have a long weekend when Lindsey has holiday breaks. He’s been taking more research sabbaticals but it doesn’t seem like it’s doing enough.

The team can tell, which means on his usual day off, that isn’t their shared day off, they end up in Catherine’s office.

“Are we having an intervention?” Catherine asks the team as she walks in and finds her office occupied. They usually wait in the breakroom or the layout room for assignments at the top of the shift.

Greg and Nick sit on her couch, Warrick leans on the edge of her desk, and Sara sits in one of her visitor’s chairs with a frown.

“Not for you,” Warrick assures her. “Griss.”

Catherine opens her mouth to say something when Nick pipes up.

“He’s burning out, man,” he tells her and restates when he gets the look as she sits down in her chair. “He’s burning out, _Catherine_.”

It’s nothing she hasn’t already noticed. She mentioned it a few times and he’s dismissed it saying everyone is burned out. This is true, but it turns out they’re all a little worried about him.

“The time off calendar says you guys are going to LA,” Sara informs the room. “Why don’t you stay longer after the campus tours?”

Catherine shrugs because she honestly doesn’t know why they wouldn’t. His mother still lives there. And she’s never seen the Pacific Ocean. Lindsey hasn’t either.

“I’m sure he’d say that it would burn you guys out,” Catherine reminds them.

“So, we all take two weeks,” Greg pipes up. “You and Grissom can go first and we’ll figure out the rest of us while you’re gone. We can as Sofia if she’ll sub and then ask Brass if it's okay. We got this.”

“You’ve been giving it a lot of thought, Greggo,” Catherine notes as she runs her fingers through her fringe and leans back. “You all think it’s a good idea?”

She looks at each of them, starting with Greg who nods vigorously.

Nick purses his lips and nods.

Warrick’s fingers spin the band on his ring finger and he nods with half a smile.

Sara looks beyond Catherine to the bright ducks that decorate the space Catherine shares with the day shift supervisor.

“Grissom once told me there’s more to life than work. I think he needs to remind himself of that before it starts to wear on him.”

“Okay,” Catherine nods and looks around the room as they grin at her. She feels like this is a set up, but two weeks away from this place sounds amazing. “I’ll come and find you guys if anything rolls in.”

\--

A few days later, Catherine swats at the annoyance while mostly asleep. But the annoyance catches her sleepy swing at his face. He shakes her arm and she flips him off as she tugs her arm back and folds it underneath the sheets and close to her body.

“Too early,” Catherine tells him as she turns her face into her pillow.

“We let you sleep an extra half hour,” Grissom lets her know as he nods his head for the other strawberry blonde that leans against the open doorway. They share a grin, and Lindsey quietly drops her backpack at the threshold.

Lindsey makes her way to her mother and she slips to Grissom’s side of the bed since he’s sitting in the space between Catherine’s body and the edge of the bed on her side of the bed. Lindsey wraps an arm around her mother and taps her head while saying ‘ _mom_ ’ over and over.

Grissom takes the other side and his fingers dance up her side.

They can see Catherine is amused by the way she lets out a chuckle while still hiding under the sheets and pretending to sleep.

“Jesus, it’s like I live with two toddlers,” Catherine laughs as she finally turns and throws back the bedding. “I’m up. I’m up.”

“Linds picked out your travel outfit and I left the travel kit open so you remember your toothbrush. I’ll pack snacks,” Grissom says as he presses a kiss to Catherine’s forehead before he escapes the bedroom.

Lindsey watches as her mother rolls out of bed.

“He’s excited,” Lindsey says as she pulls her phone out of her yoga pants pocket as she lays on her mother’s space in the bed as Catherine moves to the washroom.

Within 20 minutes, she’s dressed in a pair of leggings and an old sweatshirt of Grissom’s, face washed, teeth brushed, and a zipped travel kit in her hands as she and Lindsey move from the bedroom out to the living room. Grissom is packing the last of his snacks and hands the lunch bag to Lindsey as she and Catherine slip on their shoes.

“Ready?” Grissom asks as he takes the bag from Catherine, double-checking she got her toothbrush and toothpaste. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but sometimes when she’s tired, she forgets the basic necessities.

“I’m all out of whack,” Catherine sighs as she stands. She knows he is, too. But he adapts better than she does when they change schedules.

“You can nap in the car, mom,” Lindsey reminds her. “Come on, let’s go!”

They take his work-issued Denali because he submitted the request to use it out of state for the next two weeks as they head to Santa Monica to visit his mother and hit the UCLA and USC campuses for Lindsey’s school visits. Lindsey revels in missing two weeks of school. Granted, she had to ask for her homework early, but she had finished most of it the other day when she had convinced Grissom to stay home and help her with her microbiology lab homework. Catherine had shaken her head and slapped a twenty in her hand when Grissom wasn’t looking.

As they escape city limits, Catherine’s yawning and blinking her eyes in an effort to stay awake while leaning into the passenger seat. When he looks back in the rearview mirror, he can see Lindsey practicing her signing. He smiles a little at the effort she takes, still learning after a decade of practice.

It’s a five-hour drive in good traffic from Las Vegas to Santa Monica. Catherine falls asleep when they get to the Henderson city limits. It's no surprise since she had pulled a double to try and get on a schedule that would match their vacation time. Grissom occasionally takes his eyes off the road to look over at Catherine, feeling the weight of responsibility shed the further they get out of Vegas. And, maybe these next two weeks can be a pilot of taking extended vacations. Or take research sabbaticals that are longer than a long weekend.

\--

Every evening, they take a walk down the shoreline. Sometimes Betty and Lindsey join. Other times Lindsey claims she needs to do homework or Betty will want to teach Lindsey some sign language she’s picked up from the younger generation at the university. But Grissom and Catherine have gone every night since it's a short walk to the beach from Betty Grissom’s townhouse.

The Pacific Ocean is cold, even in the warm evening. Of course, she knows it’s a giant, deep body of water, but she didn’t realize that it was so chilly even down here off the coast of California. It still feels good as they walk along the beach. Grissom even has his pant legs rolled up to just below his knees and the tide drowns his ankles.

“This is nice. I think this is the part I’ll miss the most,” she sighs contentedly and loosens her hold on his hand and instead wraps her arm around his and pulls herself close into his space as they meander behind Betty and Lindsey tonight.

Grissom is wearing the straw hat that he likes to wear to crime scenes at work that he knows isn’t going to have much shade. It's not the most fashionable hat, so Lindsey often laughs and pretends like she has no idea who they are if he wears it out while they’re in public.

They make it down the shore and back up again just as the sky turns a dark blue-grey and the sun burns a deep orange in the sky.

“Wanna sit?” He asks as they stare out at the horizon. Her head leans against his upper arm and she hums contentedly.

They step a few feet away from the tide lines and he buries his feet in the sand as they sit. When she looks at him, she can see the exhaustion and burnout that seems permanently set on his face. But as they soak in the sea air and sunshine here, the weight is coming off his shoulders. They still have trouble sleeping on a normal schedule. But it's been six days of no work and they’ve enjoyed the break.

“I think I'd like to do more research,” he says as he looks down at the grains of sand beneath them before he stares out at the seemingly endless sea.

“You have enjoyed your sabbaticals,” Catherine reminds him. Because he has enjoyed touring the country talking about his favourite insects and details on how these insects helped solve cases. He comes back a little more sure of the science and himself. She had gone with him one time to Maine and it was almost like seeing the carefree man he’d been two decades ago when it was all about science.

“I’ve been a CSI for twenty years,” he reminds her. He’s tired, turning a little cynical, and maybe he just needs a change.

She can read through the lines. Knows what he wanted before he knew himself. She had started thinking about it a year after they had gotten the team back together and he asked if she’d ever seen the pyramids on their long walk out in the desert.

“You know I’ve got your back. Whatever you decide,” she says quietly and knocks his shoulder with her own as she leans into him to get him to turn and face her.

He finally turns his head and they wordlessly converse. The lab won’t be the same and the kids will miss him, but they’ll understand. He thinks it’s about time she has his job since she’s been doing it from day one anyway. He watches as her eyes get a little watery. Not enough to spill over, but enough to where she tries to look just beyond him to get her emotions under control.

So, he leans in and the brim of his hat knocks her forehead, but the material gives and he’s able to kiss her as she laughs against his mouth.

“Your hat is ridiculous,” she sighs as she rubs her forehead. It itches a little from the material brushing her delicate skin.

“Sorry,” he tells her. Not about the kiss or the hat, but the hat encounter. He removes it and plops it on her head, grinning.

She laughs beneath the wide brim and her smile is warm and bright. Little laugh lines appear in the corner of her eyes and the slight dimple that appears when she’s truly laughing marks her face and his heart flutters a little. He hasn’t heard that laugh in a while and it’s a sound he misses.

“We’ll make it work,” she says as she leans into him, minding his ridiculous hat.

“We always do,” he confirms as he reaches for her hand and curls his fingers in the space between her own.

\--

For Lindsey’s high school graduation, her grandparents show up, along with Warrick, Sara, Nick, Greg, and Brass. She’s one of the last students called up to get her diploma and it wasn’t the first time she considered adopting the Grissom last name just to get it over with sooner. But her mom’s not married to Gil Grissom. Not yet anyway. And, Grissom told her in elementary school that she’d still have to wait until the last person got theirs for the ceremony to be over anyway when she asked why she couldn’t just be a Grissom for her sixth-grade promotion ceremony.

She could hear Warrick, Nick, and Brass whistle as she shook the principal’s hand and walked down the ramp with her high school diploma in hand.

Pomp and circumstance over, she found her gaggle of supporters exactly where they’d planned to meet. She immediately sandwiched herself between her mother and Gil Grissom, one arm going around either of their shoulders and her mortarboard knocking off her head as their arms wrapped around her billowing black gown.

“Last day, bug,” Grissom says in their family hug as she closed out the year. It was a tradition. Sometimes she laughed. Sometimes she rolled her eyes. It had been a staple in their household since the first and last days of school since starting kindergarten.

This time, she laughs and hugs him a little tighter, whispering _thank you_.

Greg interrupts Lindsey’s laugh by dropping a lei over her head and picking up her mortarboard.

“You’ve been lei’d,” Greg laughs at his joke and steps back before Catherine can smack him.

Lindsey lets go of her mom and Grissom to be met with Betty Grissom, Lily Flynn, and Sam Braun. Lily budges her way through to shower her granddaughter with affection. Catherine signs an apology to Betty. Betty waves off the apology with a smile, reminding Catherine she’s quite okay waiting for her turn.

Rounds of hugs and congratulations are given to Lindsey from each of her guests before they all end up in a circle asking Lindsey various questions. And, although Betty Grissom is adept at lip-reading, Lindsey Willows unconsciously signs for the woman who is, for all intents and purposes, her grandmother.

Lindsey’s friends interrupt the family circle and she’s pulled in to taking pictures with a significant number of high schoolers. Sara marvels at the number of kids that want photos with Lindsey. Greg remarks that it's natural Lindsey is the popular kid -- she has Catherine for a mom and she has brains, is pretty, and kicks ass at track and field. Catherine wraps an arm around Gil Grissom and he automatically leans in towards her. She presses a kiss to his scruffy cheek and his lips upturn.

“You should be proud, Cath. You did amazing,” Grissom says as he watches Lindsey adjust her honours cords, science achievement medal, language arts achievement medal, and makes sure her purple dress is showing through her black robes as she takes photos with her friends.

“We did amazing, Gil,” Catherine quietly reminds him. Because she really couldn’t have done it without him and the stability he’d brought not only to her but to Lindsey.

One of Lindsey’s friends spots them, and awws, telling Lindsey she has the cutest mom and dad ever and that she needed a photo with her whole group, too.

So, that’s how Lindsey ends up standing between Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows, with Lily Flynn and Sam Braun just beside her mom with Betty Grissom next to her son. Greg, Warrick, Nick, Sara, and Brass fill out the back, popping up between each of the immediate family members’ head and shoulder space.

Before dispersing for the day, Sam Braun invites the group and any of Lindsey’s friends over to the Rampart for a celebratory lunch. Grissom, Brass, and Sara all flinch at the high-pitched squeals of excitement that only a gaggle of teenaged girls can pitch.

* * *

5\. _o may she live like some green laurel rooted in one dear perpetual place_

Lindsey goes all the way to Massachusetts for university. Catherine’s just thankful she’s going and that she’s not following a boy as she did back in the day. And, the fact Lindsey seems a lot more grounded than she was at the same age allows her some peace in being on the opposite coast. It’s been three months and Lindsey FaceTimes or calls at least once a week.

This week, everyone on campus is talking about a visiting professor and her friends from orientation bemoan the fact the lecture hall is full and that they really wanted to see Doctor Grissom in person.

Lindsey’s eyes narrow slightly and her friends grow curious about the reaction. They ask if she wants to come and loiter to see if they can hear any snippets of the lecture.

She accepts the offer and tells her friends to wait until the end of the lecture and maybe she could convince the visiting professor to give them a special lecture. Her friends are skeptical but stick around and hang back in the shadows as Lindsey approaches the lecture floor once everyone has left their seats. Apparently, Doctor Grissom wasn’t in the mood for meet and greets tonight.

“Mom forgot to mention you’d be here,” she greets Grissom as toils with the projector.

He looks up and a ghost of a smile appears on his face.

“I could have sworn you knew I was taking another research tour,” Grissom notes as he holds the projectors off button for three seconds.

“I knew that,” she sighs and he’s reminded of the attitude she used to get in middle school where she wanted to pretend he and Catherine were annoying her by asking how her day was at school. Lindsey takes the opportunity to lean against the podium and look at her fingers as they hold onto the wood that makes up the propped up wood.

“Did you know your lecture was capped?”

“Fire code,” he nods and his chin points in the direction of Lindsey’s gaggle of friends. “Who are your friends?”

Lindsey looks back and motions for them to come closer before turning back to Grissom.

“They’re skeptical about lasting in science,” Lindsey says. “Can you give the same lecture you gave me before my first day in biology lab in ninth grade? Pretty please?”

“One condition,” Grissom says with a smile. “You have dinner with me and your mom before we have to go back to Los Angeles.”

Her friends take in the platinum band but make assumptions based on the fact Lindsey can walk up to this famous forensic scientist and ask for a private lecture. One of the more observant ones also doesn’t miss the soft smile as Lindsey leans in and asks pretty please.

Her friends slink down the lecture hall steps to the first couple rows and watch as Lindsey sighs, makes a face, and then shakes Dr. Grissom’s hand before she makes her way over to her group and sits in the front row alone.

“Are you two…” one friend trails off as Lindsey makes a face.

“No. Gross,” Lindsey says quickly as she pulls out her phone and scrolls to one of her photos in her favourites folder in her photo album. It’s a blurry selfie with her and her grandmother, but her mother and Gil Grissom are in the background holding hands at the Los Angeles County Museum’s Urban Light installation. That particular photo was the day before they’d gone to the courthouse where Catherine and Grissom had finally gotten hitched. The four of them were celebrating as Catherine and Grissom had moved into their new place in Playa del Rey and had two weeks before Catherine officially started her job at the FBI in Los Angeles.

“Why didn’t you tell us you have a famous dad?” another friend asks as she not so subtly gives Gil Grissom a once over.

When almost all the eyes are on Lindsey, Gil Grissom meets Lindsey’s silent request for help and he winks before beginning his lecture on the few stories about his and Catherine's crazy cases throughout the years.

\--

He woke up to the sound of the front door opening and two sets of feet shuffling against the hardwood. They were familiar, so he wasn’t alarmed enough to do much about it. In the bedroom, it was getting lighter but still dark enough to where the sunlight hadn’t run across the bed to wake them up. Catherine was facing him, mostly asleep, her head on the edge of his pillow. She heard the noise, too. Her breathing pattern had changed but her eyes hadn't opened. He watched her for a moment as he oriented himself and quietly moved to the edge of the bed, slipping out and heading to the washroom. He’s drying his hands on the hand towel before he reaches for his toothbrush when a sleepy Catherine slips past him to the toilet.

“Morning,” she says, voice rough with sleep.

He clocks her in the mirror as she sits and he runs the head of his toothbrush under the sink water.

“Morning,” he returns her greeting. He squeezes the toothpaste and caps it, running his toothbrush through the water again before turning the tap off. “I tried to let you sleep.”

A flush hides her quiet laugh and she moves to her sink to wash her hands.

“You got a text that woke me,” she nods to the bedroom where his phone sits on his nightstand.

“Oh?” He asks with a mouthful of toothpaste.

She copies his routine, leaning her hip against the edge of the counter, studying him.

He continues to brush his teeth and looks over at her, raising his brow, silently questioning her. He turns and spits into the sink. He turns on the water, rinsing his toothbrush and his trimmed beard before turning off the tap and mirroring Catherine’s stance.

“What?” He asks as she finishes brushing her teeth. He looks at himself in the mirror and he doesn’t find anything amiss.

“Nothing,” she says as she slips her toothbrush back in the cup next to his.

“You’re staring.”

She shrugs and her hand brushes his hip as she moves back to the bedroom.

“You might want to put some pants or something on before you come out. Swim trunks and boxer briefs are not the same as far as Lindsey’s concerned.”

She laughs, mostly to herself, and scoops up Grissom’s sweater she wore last night from up off the floor. She makes sure she’s somewhat presentable in his sweatshirt and her pajama shorts and slips out the door.

He checks his phone to find a text message sent by Brass that had a picture of Nick, Warrick, Greg, and Sara at their favourite diner with the text message below telling him to have a good one. He rolled his eyes but a smile crept onto his features and he sent _thanks. back at you_ , as he rooted through his dresser.

He slips on a pair of black pajama pants and makes sure his grey t-shirt is acceptable before he heads down the stairs from their room to the main floor. He passes through the empty living room to the kitchen where Catherine is pouring him a cup of coffee while his mother and Lindsey move about the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

“Morning,” Lindsey looks up from cutting pineapple at the edge of the sink. Beside her, a fruit tray is being carefully arranged. It features all his favourite fruits and there’s a distinct lack of melons which he appreciates.

Catherine sides up to him and hands him his cup before she takes a sip from her own.

His mother is at the countertop nearest them. She has confectioner sugar and vanilla out which means she’s made cinnamon rolls. Eventually, she’ll get the milk and make the icing.

“What’s this?” He finally asks.

“Breakfast,” Lindsey tells him and he gets that look she inherited from Catherine that had a non-verbal insult attached.

“Come on, let’s go enjoy the view and leave them to breakfast,” Catherine says as she grabs his free hand and leads them out to the balcony.

\--

After breakfast, Lindsey made him go sit on the couch and she brought him a single, wrapped gift. Decades of gift-giving and unwrapping hadn’t changed. He was precise when opening gifts, tearing the tape just enough that it didn’t ruin the wrapping paper. Catherine always rolled her eyes but always managed to use wrapping paper over bags with tissue paper. Lindsey knows this and always finds the fanciest or most interesting wrapping paper and uses the super clear tape so Grissom makes sure to be extra attentive in not ripping the paper.

Grissom sets the paper aside and finds a standard box that usually holds gifts of clothing.

Inside the box is a plain folder. He looks up to find Lindsey looking anxious, Catherine biting back her grin, and his mother leaning forward on her chair. Curiosity growing, he turns back to his gift and opens the box to find a large envelope. His brows furrowed as he searched for some sort of clue as to the contents. Finding none, he opens the envelope to find a stack of papers.

He looked at the first page, finding familiarity in the structure of a court document. His name and address were at the top, with Lindsey's name and address below. Skipping over the familiar court heading, his eyes zeroed in on the part where the legalese was easy to understand. _WHEREAS, Gilbert Arthur Grissom wishes to adopt Lindsey Willows, and Lindsey Willows wishes to be adopted by Gilbert Arthur Grissom_. And down below was tomorrow's date and Lindsey's signature, with a little red ' _sign here_ ' flag waiting for his signature above Lindsey's neat cursive.

He doesn’t move past the first form where he’d find more little flags since Catherine had to attest she was okay both as the parent of Lindsey and the spouse of Gil Grissom that it was okay and more legal forms that say the same thing over and over again. Instead, he runs a finger down the thick paper and processes what he’s read.

“I wanted to make what I have always thought official if that’s okay?” Lindsey’s voice interrupts his study, quiet and uncertain.

He looks up from the papers.

She spins the ring she wears on her middle finger. It’s a grown-up version of the first time he’d seen her uncertain as they drove to the first day of school where she kicked the bench seat in the Denali.

He was precise and careful as he placed his gift on the coffee table in front of him. He made sure they were neatly stacked and safe before he stood and gestured for Lindsey to do the same as he took the few steps over from the couch to the kitchen table chair she had dragged over.

She stands and looks to him and then to the floor, still nervous.

“It’s more than okay, Lindsey,” he says as he tilts her chin so she can look at him as he reassures her. He watches as her dark blue eyes fill with tears and they start to spill over and down her cheeks.

“C’mere,” he says as he opens his arms and she falls into him, arms around his neck and face buried in his soft grey shirt.

He watches as Catherine and his mother join hands as they watch the scene. His mother signs _your father would be proud_ as he rubs Lindsey's back and Catherine finally lets her tears fall at that moment. _Happy tears_ , she reassures the room, wiping at her face with the cuff of the sweatshirt.

\--

“You know I’ve never needed a piece of paper,” Grissom says as he and Catherine sit outside on the balcony. They sit at the swinging bench that they had put together last spring.

He drapes the blanket over her as he sits, shuffling over so they’re flush with one another. Her hand slips into his and she leans her head against his shoulder, humming.

They’ve celebrated father’s day for a while without too much pomp and circumstance. When Lindsey was eight months old, Brass had given him a father’s day card. He and Catherine had gone out for breakfast after shift and the diner’s waitress had wished him happy father’s day as he played with Lindsey in her carseat. Catherine had watched him turn a little pink but didn’t contest the waitress’s observations. For the last 21 years, they’ve celebrated him and his unofficial role on this day.

“I know. We know,” Catherine reminds him. “Linds wanted to make it official, though.”

Lindsey was the one with the idea, asking Catherine what she thought and she had agreed it was a great gift. Catherine doesn’t have to tell either of them that her job is a little more dangerous than the last. Lindsey is an adult, but Catherine also wants to make sure if worse comes to worst, her husband and her daughter are taken care of, legally and financially.

“Turns out Ed never came to sign anything. I knew he was never there at the hospital, but I didn’t look at the paperwork after they sent it. Stuffed it in an envelope with her social security card and my stuff and I think it had been in there since.”

Grissom stares out at the beach where Lindsey is walking along the tide with his mother’s arm in her own.

Once the divorce was final, Catherine never looked Eddie up. She didn’t want to know and didn’t care about what he was going to do with his life. After all, she had her own and had planned to make a better life for herself and her baby.

“So, it will make this a little easier. And, she’s an adult, so there’s less of a process,” Catherine continues. “Still a lot of paperwork, though.”

Being in the FBI, she gets to know a lot of the judges around town. So, they’ll expedite the paperwork once they see her name on it.

“And, the free tuition doesn’t hurt,” Catherine chuckles as she continues and leans away from him to watch him. “A master's degree in human genetics isn’t cheap.”

He smiles a little, shaking his head at her.

“Happy father’s day, Gil,” Catherine says, leaning in and pressing her lips to his cheek.

* * *

\+ 1. _she can, though every face should scowl and every windy quarter howl or every bellows burst, be happy still_

D.B. Russell was a little star-struck at the fact Doctor Gil Grissom was at the Las Vegas Police Department Crime Lab. He’d heard stories, been to conferences, and once sat in on a lecture the man had given at his alma mater. But he’d never met the man. Selfishly, when Nick, Sara, and Catherine had gone to The Eclipse to interrogate some people, he’d offered Gil Grissom a tour of the recently remodelled lab.

Grissom had looked to Warrick or Greg to help him out, but neither CSI would stop their silent laughter long enough to rescue him from the fanboy clutches of their supervisor.

The layout hadn’t changed much in the end. Glass walls were more reinforced. New equipment lined the labs. A frosted, coloured line was the only dead giveaway the labs weren’t all the same. Russell takes the opportunity to have them greet each tech in the lab. Some of them are familiar. Some are new faces as young as Lindsey.

Grissom is getting tired of all the introductions and small talk when they finally hit up the DNA lab. Russell is explaining how they have a new machine courtesy of the FBI that didn’t cost them as much as the New York City Crime Lab when Grissom spots his key away from the chatty night shift supervisor.

The DNA lab is quiet. Grissom still remembers Greg blasting his music, sometimes hearing faint strains of it floating to his office. Right now, there’s a single tech with her head in the microscope, gloved fingers dialling the stage closer to the lens. Russell clears his throat, interrupting the process, and there’s a moment before the tech lifts her head to face the interruption. And, because Grissom knows this particular tech, he knows very well that the brief moment was to compose herself and not launch into a _why the hell are you interrupting me_ version of an introduction.

“Lindsey,” Russell greets. He’s made it a point to call out every single person’s name. He’s one of those supervisors who knows everyone. It's no surprise D.B. Russell is more extroverted than Gil Grissom. Grissom never knew everyone. He had Catherine as his right and left hand for those things. “I’d like to introduce you to...”

Lindsey cuts him off as she leans against the workbench.

“Doctor Gil Grissom,” Lindsey finishes. “I thought you were doing a lecture in San Diego on the benefits of maggots harvesting DNA? You know, the UNLV case from a decade ago?”

“Lindsey here is our new hire,” Russell gets out before Grissom can answer. “Your degrees are…”

“Bachelors degrees in Bioinformatics and English Literature from Williams College and a masters in human genetics from UCLA,” Grissom says as he looks at Lindsey, head tilting and cheek ticking in amusement.

“Big fans of one another,” Russell jests. He looks between them and lips purse as he finds them both wearing amused little smirks. “Do you two know one another?”

“Only for the past twenty-three years,” Lindsey claims.

Grissom watches as the night shift supervisor mulls on the fact, trying to put two and two together.

“He’s my dad,” Lindsey puts him out of his misery.

“Dad,” Russell says. He whispers it to himself aloud again. He looks between Grissom and Lindsey. They give him time to process the fact. They ignore the feeling of Russell's eyes staring at after a while.

“Why does a big case have to happen right now? It’s my first week,” Lindsey questions as she looks to Grissom. “They cancel your lecture?”

“I told them the FBI needed my help,” Grissom shrugged with a smirk. “Can’t compete with the FBI request.”

“I’m guessing no one told them the FBI request is actually your wife and you don’t have to help,” Lindsey sasses.

“Wife?” Russell asks, breaking through the conversation. Russell looks at Lindsey's badge. "Willows. Willows, as in Catherine?"

Lindsey and Grissom look to Russell and at the same time, they shrug their shoulders.

“They didn’t tell anyone else, either,” Warrick’s voice sounds out from behind the group as he leans against the doorframe with a smirk. “Linds had her graduation party at the Tangiers and that’s when we noticed.” Warrick holds up his left hand and his thumb touches his wedding band.

“It had been, what, almost five years by then?”

Grissom nods once.

Russell has always been a big fan of Gil Grissom. Had been eager to sit in the office the man had once practically lived in for decades. When Conrad Ecklie had hired him, Russell had been expecting some broom closet of an office. However, when he’d found out Catherine Willows had never vacated her own office, he had jumped at the chance to take the legendary Gil Grissom’s office.

He’d overhear the team asking about Grissom. He had assumed they were postulating and not actually asking Catherine. And, no one had been surprised when Catherine resigned her position to take the FBI position in Los Angeles. He heard she had kept the house she owned here in Vegas. And, he wasn’t surprised that she had been able to afford a house on the beach, being the sole heir to Sam Braun’s fortune when he had passed a few years ago. But he’s learning a lot more than he ever learned when Catherine was on his team.

Two sets of ears hear the familiar tap of heels on the linoleum floor and soon enough, a familiar presence brushes past Warrick to enter the lab.

“Everything okay here?” Catherine asks as she slides up to Grissom and looks between the group.

“Explaining the family dynamics to Russell, here,” Warrick pipes up.

Catherine tilts her head, a dry laugh escaping. None of the CSIs miss Catherine’s hand brushing against Grissom’s elbow and his soft smile or Lindsey’s eye roll.

Russell thinks Lindsey gets her looks from Catherine, but Gil Grissom has influenced her quiet mannerisms. The way she’s so precise. How she thinks everything through before speaking. And how she always seems to be a couple of steps ahead of everyone. Suddenly, it made sense when Ecklie had said he was lucky to scoop her up before there was a fight to get the little prodigy.

“Well, if it’s okay with you all, I’d like to get back to the case,” Catherine says as she nods to the empty layout room. “Meet in five? Warrick, go get Nicky for me, would you? Linds, we’ll have a lot of samples to process, so you can join if you want.”

Technically, Catherine has no jurisdiction here. But somehow everyone does as she orders and Russell isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Her assistance is invaluable to the case at hand.

Russell watches the dynamic more than he listens to the case at hand. Sara is explaining the case because she’s the one who it was originally assigned. And when she had found evidence that led her to The Eclipse, she called in a favour to bring in Catherine. It’s almost like there’s been no break from when they had last seen each other. The entire team is on the same page, finishing the theories together. Even Lindsey was asked for her input by Sara and the younger strawberry blonde radiated confidence as she gave her input. Russell was mesmerized. It’s no wonder this team had the highest solve record in the crime lab. It was clear this found family would always be that, a family.


End file.
